Last week, Asher was struggling to overcome a cold. The boys wanted to play outside and I thought some exercise and good old vitamin D would help. After some running around and playing, Isaac accidentally hit Asher and made him cry. I picked Asher up and could tell he was just exhausted. He could barely keep his eyes open as I held him. So I decided to give him a little rest and I held him and rocked him to sleep on the bench on my front porch. I don't remember the last time I rocked either of my boys to sleep. Asher is 3 now and Isaac is almost 5. I thought I may never get a chance to rock them to sleep ever again. So I soaked it up! I sat in the shade on a warm sunny spring day and watched as my not so little baby fell asleep in my arms. He fought it a little at first. He'd keep opening his eyes to make sure no one was having more fun around him. But then his eye lids would grow heavy and close again. I listened to the pattern of his breathing and could tell he was fast asleep when his mouth parted and the air started swishing past his plump lips. I knew for sure he was out when my hand rumbled as my sweet baby boy passed some gas… boys…
It was one of those moments… another "thin place" where the membrane that separates Heaven and Earth is so thin, you get glimpses of Heaven from here… So many of my thin places these days are with my sweet boys. I love having adventures and exploring and learning new things. I love sitting with them and wrestling with them and laughing with them as they grow older.
But that's one thing that sometimes bothers me. I have always loved the idea of Peter Pan. The idea of a place of adventure a boy can go and always stay young and never grow up. When I found out Isaac would be Isaac when I was only 20 weeks pregnant, I bought a bunch of Peter Pan books. I want this idea of staying young at heart and having adventures to always be a part of my boys' lives. Lately, I find myself acting more and more like a pirate. I am often impatient with my boys and every once in a while I even think to myself, "Grow UP!" Once I said it out loud, but I wanted to reach out and grab the words and take them back before they reached Isaac's ears.
Please, Isaac and Asher, grow. Learn. Have adventures and experiences. Become a better you, but don't grow up. Never grow old. Don't be a pirate. Stay young at heart and let your mommy hold you and kiss you and rock you to sleep every so often, okay?