Asher

Do you remember this blog?  The one where I said Asher has been eating very well and I didn't want to post anything about what a good baby he was because I was afraid I might jinx something?  I was right to be afraid.

I guess I don't remember when it started, but shortly after that post (because I never remember him eating well) he started screaming every time he would nurse.  I called the doctor about it and she thought it might just be acid reflux.  But really she was baffled as to why Asher would hate the act of eating so much.  Most babies with acid reflux scream after eating when the acid starts bothering them.  We were prescribed a $45 once day drug that didn't do anything to help with the screaming but did stain everything Asher would puke on.  And boy did he puke!  

I've never seen a baby puke so much in my life.  Instead of using "burp" cloths, we needed puke cloths so we used dish towels.  Here's Aunt Erika with Asher and a lovely dish towel.  I feel like it just ruins a sweet picture…

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Anyway, the food issues progressed as you would expect.  A picky nurser, became a picky eater.  Asher didn't eat anything but bread when he started eating solids.  But just like the experts say, after offering a dish about nine times, he'd eventually open up to it and even enjoy it.  Today, Asher is doing pretty well with foods.  He loves all vegetables and fruit.  He'll eat chicken and beef (as long as he's familiar with the dish).  He's still very hesitant to try new foods and he still takes about a half hour longer than everyone else to finish his dinner.

But over six months ago he started having some digestion problems.  Without giving you too much information about his bathroom habits, six+ months of chronic diarrhea made us decide to call the doctor.

We tried many different things.  We removed lactose from his diet: no change.  We added probiotics: no change.  We tested him for parasites and ecoli.  We tested for blood in his stool.  All sorts of fun things!  Only a mother can love her child this much.

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Anyway, Asher started to look sick. He got dark circles under his eyes and he started looking sickly to me.  I remember thinking he just looked tired on this day.

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Asher spends so much time in the bathroom that just the other day, he told me that he had a dream that he was in the potty.  I asked him, "What were you doing in there?"  He said he was just swimming around and then he climbed out…

It's such a usual thing for him that he never complains and every time I ask him if his tummy hurts he says no.  And then last week he started complaining of a tummy ache.  After lunch he just wanted to lay down.  I felt his belly and it was bloated and hard.  My sweet baby.  It just breaks my heart.  So I called the doctor and told her I was tired of trying things.  I was ready to test for Celiacs Disease.  She referred me to a GI specialist.  

So we see the pediatric GI doctor today.  Here's how Asher feels about that:  Yesterday he asked if he could get an x-ray. 

Here's how I feel about that: I'm scared.  I'm worried about the actual testing (which they may not do today).  I do not want to see the pain on his face if he gets blood drawn.  I don't want to see the fear of the unknown on his face if they have to do any additional testing.  I know for Celiacs they usually do a blood test and a scope down your throat (although they put kids out for that).  

I'm also excited to get answers.  And worried we won't have any.  I am such a laid back person.  Not much in this world bothers me.  But I have never been so worried as when my kids are sick.  It makes me physically ill.  My heart aches and my stomach churns when I can't fix the problem that's bothering my kids…

So my prayer today is for wisdom and answers and strength to put on a happy and brave face for Asher.  This appointment may only be a short conversation with the doctor.  I just don't really know what to expect.  I also pray for healing and if I can be selfish, for an easy fix that does not come with a diagnosis of anything that includes the word "disease".  But really I'll be thankful just to know how to help!

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