I’m Learning.

My boys just started school again, This kid is in 6th IMG_0439

and this one is in 4th grade.

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I can’t believe that my oldest is in middle school! I tried to imagine what he would be like when I used to look at his expressive, three-year-old, chubby face.

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I had no idea he would grow into the beautiful boy he is now. I had no idea that he’d love football so much that he genuinely enjoys wearing pads that weigh more than he does and practicing for hours in the summer heat. I had no idea that he would be so musically intuitive (though I should have guessed with so much of those Littleton genes). I had no idea that those blue eyes would so rarely look me in mine, but when they did, I would melt so completely.

 

I’ll be honest; my sweet Asher hasn’t changed too much in the seven years since I took this photo.

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He still is so full of energy, loves food and animals, and surprisingly at nine and a half years old, he still hides every time he knows I’m looking for him. But that big ball of energy that gave him the nickname of Bash as a baby is growing into a reserved and introspective boy. He has few close friends but will usually choose to stay home rather than go out. He learns from everyone around him and is paying attention when you think he’s just snuggling with the puppy.  And the freckles on his nose make my heart leap every time he is quiet long enough for me to catch a glimpse of them.

 

I’ve been learning a thing or two in the past few years, as well.

I’ve learned that I’m a perfectionist. A lazy perfectionist, but a perfectionist nonetheless.

 

I’ve learned that the world is not as I thought it was. My eyes have been opened to a lot of pain and disparity all around me, and that’s a good thing.

 

I’ve learned that as much as I pride myself in my introversion, I am in desperate need of people.

 

I’d like to use this blog to explore these topics in the days to come.

 

May the things I am learning, open your eyes as well and give you a small glimpse of who I am and who I am still becoming.

 

My Baby

My baby starts kindergarten tomorrow.

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Yes!  My sweet infant son, who just yesterday looked like this:

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And made sweet baby noises like this:

 

I mean, seriously?

 

When did this kid grow out of clothes that have snaps?!

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When did he lose those cheeks?

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And the rooster hair?

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He’s not old enough to start school tomorrow!

Or, maybe I’m not old enough to have both boys at school.

Either way, I refuse to acknowledge what’s happening in a few short hours.

I certainly didn’t look through old pictures and videos for the past two and a half hours crying and laughing.

I certainly won’t cry as the boys get on the bus tomorrow.

I most certainly will not miss them like crazy all day in my quiet house tomorrow.

 

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hmmm…

 

I’ll let you know how it goes.