For the first time as husband and wife. I'm so glad I did.
This blog has been around for over five years. Can you believe it?
I can't! We've documented a lot of firsts over the years. First boat ride, first Pie Night (check out a young Trevor in the background of one of those pie night pictures!), first tooth, and first time at the dentist, and other mini milestones. But today… Today feels like huge milestone!
I have been excited about this moment for a long time. Isaac just thrives in social situations. He loves people and loves to learn. He's already been to preschool and a pretty intense summer school session. He's so ready for school. I knew he'd love it. But yesterday, I just got this overwhelming feeling that I was about to lose something very precious to me.
From birth until today, Isaac has been on my schedule. He started sleeping through the night at only three weeks old (I know, don't hate me) and since then, we've had a very easy going and flexible schedule. All that changes now that I have to feed him lunch before 11am and skip nap time altogether. We can't go on spontaneous trips anymore on Randall's weekday off. Isaac (and the Littleton family) is now a slave to the school's schedule.
But that's really the only tangible reason I could use to explain my nervousness about sending him to school today.
Isaac was WAY excited to go to school today. I told him to get ready to take a bath after breakfast this morning and he told me "no." He thought it would make him late for school. He kept asking me all day if we were late. I guess I didn't communicate to him that he was in afternoon, half day kindergarten.
We got to school with plenty of time. So we just sat outside and waited for Mr. Salt to greet us at the front door. We got there a little too early for my likes. Here's what was going through my head for the 20 or so minutes we waited:
"I will not cry, I will not cry."
It was. Isaac's teacher came out and sat on the steps waiting for his bus kids to arrive. They were running late. So Isaac sat next to his teacher for a few minutes and waited. Here he is checking out Mr. Salt.
He's not so sure yet, but isn't that a great name for a kindergarten teacher?!
And then in a rush, the bus came and the kids lined up and Isaac waved at me as they went through the school door. And he was gone.
And I couldn't hold the tears back any more. I grabbed Randall's hand and didn't make eye contact and shuffled behind Asher the 10 minute walk home. Sniffing the whole way. Randall was sniffing the whole way home too, but he claims it was because of his allergies…
I had a busy day, so I didn't have time to sit at home and cry some more when Randall left to go back to work.
Asher had his first day of home school preschool today!
Before we knew it, it was time to pick up Isaac from school and see how his day went.
We got there with plenty of time again. I saw a few moms go in and wait inside for their kindergarteners but it was a lovely day and Asher was playing with sticks and leaves, so I just waited outside. The kids came out in bus lines. First, bus #120, then #121 and that's when I saw my sweet baby come through the doors with tears in his blue eyes.
I dropped everything and ran and swept him up in my arms. I held him tight and found out that his teacher had told him, he must ride the bus home. He was assigned a bus and I hadn't told the teacher otherwise so he had to send him home on his bus. Thankfully, I was there and on time to rescue him. Even while I was holding him and he was squeezing me tight, he kept flashing me these smiles like, "I'm brave. It was no big thing. We're fine but keep holding me for another minute or two."
It turns out, he had a great day. He actually told me all about it. He was really excited.
Tomorrow's a new day and we'll do it all over again. I think we'll be okay. I think Isaac will love it. I know he'll thrive. I know I'll get used to the schedule and enjoy my time with Asher. It's just another big step for me and my baby. But I'm pretty sure:
‘Twas the night before school starts and all through the
Not a creature was stirring, not a bird in the grill.
His outfit was set out upon the nightstand,
His school supplies ready, his backpack at hand.
Isaac was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of dinosaurs danced in his head.
Papa laid down and turned Family Guy on,
While Mama wrung her hands and stifled a yawn.
She knew if she laid her head down to rest,
She’d dream about high school and other things stressed.
Why did she feel like her freedom was ending
Because her first baby to school she was sending?
He’d learn some great things and make some new friends
He’d come home with new words and other new trends.
He’d be a bit older and wiser with time.
Would he become more distant and leave her behind?
Not yet, mama dear, don’t you worry quite yet.
Though your eyes as you wave your goodbyes may be wet,
For tonight the sweet babe lie asleep on his bed.
With his blue eyes shut tight in his blond tussled head.
His eyes! How they twinkle, his dimples how precious,
His nose like a button, his smile leaves her breathless.
Though they change and get awkward with each coming phase.
He’ll remain a sweet baby in his mother’s gaze.
So God, give her peace. Please stifle her worry.
Help her to trust you on this leg of her journey.